Welcome to the Adult Psychiatric Unit at the Mostin Hospital.
Your stay is important to us and we endeavour to make you feel at home and comfortable as best we can during your time with us.
While we respect your admission was made under duress, with probable involvement of The Police and/or Paramedics, we hope that over time you will come to learn to appreciate your time here and begin to find ways to reconnect with Life. We want you to succeed.
To ensure all guests enjoy safe and peaceable environment, we ask you follow a few rules.
These rules have been written over the course of over one hundred years, and are based on the United Nations medical model of disability. This means you are by nature, defective, and you must do all in your power while on these hospital grounds to rectify these defects before we discern that you are mentally fit to re-enter society. If at any time, you show signs of refusing treatment, relapsing or regenerating any past trauma/s, we may (will) decide to extend your stay and waive your right for fresh air. Please remain mentally ill at all times while on our premises. We take no responsibility for mental health.
Everything you say or do, will be perceived through the lens of ‘mentally ill’. This includes your frustration with décor, architecture, other people and furniture on the ward. It is all designed with your reality in mind.
Do not try to engage with the on-site television. It is part of our desire to make you feel a complete lack of control.
While on these grounds we also request you must not wear sensible shoes, but always wear thongs that make a ‘flip flap’ sound when you walk. This is to ensure our staff can measure your whereabouts at all times. This is of course, to ensure your safety, not that of the staff who are all trained in the latest cease-and-desist techniques with the Australian Special Services. These techniques may be practiced on you at any time you display threatening or distressed behaviour, especially around 1500 hours when your blood sugar levels drop and the ultra doses of Olanzapine have waned, leaving your body swimming in cortisol from chronic lack of physical activity. These techniques may also be rehearsed on Mondays/Thursdays and Fridays (or Tuesdays and Wednesdays). Please note there will be a lot of noise during these events but be assured it is for the good of the recipient.
You will be pleased to know the APU has a contemporary weekly regime of unstimulating activities for you to participate in, We highly encourage you to engage with these activities to show your willingness to become better. These activities have been planned since 1980 and abide by the United Nations medical model of disability which states that you are defective and should be spending all your walking hours on rectifying your defects. This means the weekly activities include: nothing.
You will find a pleasant private bedroom with a window overlooking a concrete wall, speckled with asthma weed and straw grass. You will notice your bed is bolted to the floor and the thin rubber mattress has an overwhelming odour of urine. There is a cupboard for you to store your clothes, if you have any. There is a desk (bolted to the floor) and one thin cotton lightweight blanket to assist in your feelings of disassociation at night. You will be delighted to discover your own private en suite, however please note the Cleaner does come around every day and clean your toilet, taps, toothbrush and soap with the same microfibre cloth and tepid bucket of mop water for all 30 en suites dotted around the ward. Do not notice.
You must obey all the unspoken rules of the ward such as respecting thick and constant rolled cigarette smoke is more important than fresh air in the claustrophobic courtyard. You shall not complain that your private bedroom is public by default and any missing/stolen belongings won’t be noticed. You will also accept that you are immediately available to people who usually find dating difficult, and will not complain because ‘everyone in here is mentally ill’. You will also abide by all staff opinions on any topic, even if those opinions are not made from the same level of university education as you. You shall also uphold your responsibility to only talk about themes relating to mental illness while on this ward. This is especially important in the presence of staff and vital in the awareness of being observed by staffing higher powers. If you are stuck for topics, default to aliens, government tracking, chemtrails, God and ‘hearing voices’. These topics are highly desired conversation starters with staff and will ensure you receive full attention and care. If you do not have such topics, you will still enjoy the amenities but your time with staff will be limited. If you cant speak at all due to severe depression, please be aware that you may not even be noticed for the whole week.
If at any time, one or any of these rules are broken, either obviously, subjectively or objectively, you forgo all rights to believe that any questionable experiences you have while on these grounds are worthy of raising with a legal representative. You also waive any prior life history that may be accountable to your mental illness whether you break these rules or not. These include, but not limited to, abuse, torture, neglect, poverty, colonisation, racism, un-supported autism/dyslexia/ADD, gender distress, grief, generational poverty, bushfire, armed conflict, seeking asylum, eating disorders, cancer or other life-threatening physical condition, being Deaf in a hearing world, substance use and/or family separation. You will not enter into any discourse challenging the medical model of mental illness.
At some point in your hospital stay, you will come to realise you are bored out of your brain. The hospital takes no responsibility for this. We suggest you find ways to counter the brain’s natural urge to be stimulated as a way to keep synapses firing and reduce the loss of brain cells. Whilst we understand the brain’s processes to manifest mental illness, we cannot be responsible for your human desire for music, intellectual pursuits, art, creative expression, connection and meaning. You must accept that while on our grounds you have surrendered the right to entertain thinking about any other interests, hobbies, talents or academic experiences. This includes religious beliefs and spiritual faith. As you are a guest of this ward, you accept that any mention of such will be translated as symptoms of mental illness and be perceived as ‘psychosis’ and/or ‘delusion’. This is especially true if you have a strong faith in God. We recommend you keep this faith to yourself to not upset any ‘God’ or other religious figure on the ward at present, as well as reducing the misunderstanding of the staff who may deem your belief contrary to their own or that of a litigious-fearing public domain.
These rules are abiding and shall not be interfered or tampered with by anyone acting on behalf of a person while on these grounds, or having any history of being on these grounds.
The Adult Psychiatric Unit is bound by laws and regulations instated by the Highest Powers of The Governments of the Westernised World. No person reading this or associated to any person reading this can influence, question of affect the rules of this Charter. By reading this, you have given permission for us to store your ability to read small print on file for the rest of your life. This shall be diagnosed as ‘Paranoid Schizophrenia’.
We reserve the right to change these rules at any time, and without warning. But as they haven’t changed since 1980 we doubt that we will. But we will endeavour to generate media attention around our disgust at 20th century practices such as chemical and physical restraint. It doe not mean that we will meaningfully adjust these practices in real terms. If you find yourself in such a situation, we categorically decline any injuries whether physical, mental or spiritual, including cultural injury. We will erase all documentation of such events, therefore voiding and nulling your account.
Any similarity between this document and that of the artist is purely coincidental. We believe the artist is making this stuff up, and her claim that ‘it’s all true’ are categorically denied. The hospital doesn’t exist, the year doesn’t exist, the town doesn’t exist, the planet Earth is a figment of their imagination and in fact, we believe the manifestation known as the ‘universe’ is a psychotic delusion, a fantastic symptom of their extreme mental illness. The artist is currently AWOL and should be approached with caution. Do not attempt to feed after midnight or immerse in water.
Signed on behalf © Heidi Everett, artist.
Your stay is important to us and we endeavour to make you feel at home and comfortable as best we can during your time with us.
While we respect your admission was made under duress, with probable involvement of The Police and/or Paramedics, we hope that over time you will come to learn to appreciate your time here and begin to find ways to reconnect with Life. We want you to succeed.
To ensure all guests enjoy safe and peaceable environment, we ask you follow a few rules.
These rules have been written over the course of over one hundred years, and are based on the United Nations medical model of disability. This means you are by nature, defective, and you must do all in your power while on these hospital grounds to rectify these defects before we discern that you are mentally fit to re-enter society. If at any time, you show signs of refusing treatment, relapsing or regenerating any past trauma/s, we may (will) decide to extend your stay and waive your right for fresh air. Please remain mentally ill at all times while on our premises. We take no responsibility for mental health.
Everything you say or do, will be perceived through the lens of ‘mentally ill’. This includes your frustration with décor, architecture, other people and furniture on the ward. It is all designed with your reality in mind.
Do not try to engage with the on-site television. It is part of our desire to make you feel a complete lack of control.
While on these grounds we also request you must not wear sensible shoes, but always wear thongs that make a ‘flip flap’ sound when you walk. This is to ensure our staff can measure your whereabouts at all times. This is of course, to ensure your safety, not that of the staff who are all trained in the latest cease-and-desist techniques with the Australian Special Services. These techniques may be practiced on you at any time you display threatening or distressed behaviour, especially around 1500 hours when your blood sugar levels drop and the ultra doses of Olanzapine have waned, leaving your body swimming in cortisol from chronic lack of physical activity. These techniques may also be rehearsed on Mondays/Thursdays and Fridays (or Tuesdays and Wednesdays). Please note there will be a lot of noise during these events but be assured it is for the good of the recipient.
You will be pleased to know the APU has a contemporary weekly regime of unstimulating activities for you to participate in, We highly encourage you to engage with these activities to show your willingness to become better. These activities have been planned since 1980 and abide by the United Nations medical model of disability which states that you are defective and should be spending all your walking hours on rectifying your defects. This means the weekly activities include: nothing.
You will find a pleasant private bedroom with a window overlooking a concrete wall, speckled with asthma weed and straw grass. You will notice your bed is bolted to the floor and the thin rubber mattress has an overwhelming odour of urine. There is a cupboard for you to store your clothes, if you have any. There is a desk (bolted to the floor) and one thin cotton lightweight blanket to assist in your feelings of disassociation at night. You will be delighted to discover your own private en suite, however please note the Cleaner does come around every day and clean your toilet, taps, toothbrush and soap with the same microfibre cloth and tepid bucket of mop water for all 30 en suites dotted around the ward. Do not notice.
You must obey all the unspoken rules of the ward such as respecting thick and constant rolled cigarette smoke is more important than fresh air in the claustrophobic courtyard. You shall not complain that your private bedroom is public by default and any missing/stolen belongings won’t be noticed. You will also accept that you are immediately available to people who usually find dating difficult, and will not complain because ‘everyone in here is mentally ill’. You will also abide by all staff opinions on any topic, even if those opinions are not made from the same level of university education as you. You shall also uphold your responsibility to only talk about themes relating to mental illness while on this ward. This is especially important in the presence of staff and vital in the awareness of being observed by staffing higher powers. If you are stuck for topics, default to aliens, government tracking, chemtrails, God and ‘hearing voices’. These topics are highly desired conversation starters with staff and will ensure you receive full attention and care. If you do not have such topics, you will still enjoy the amenities but your time with staff will be limited. If you cant speak at all due to severe depression, please be aware that you may not even be noticed for the whole week.
If at any time, one or any of these rules are broken, either obviously, subjectively or objectively, you forgo all rights to believe that any questionable experiences you have while on these grounds are worthy of raising with a legal representative. You also waive any prior life history that may be accountable to your mental illness whether you break these rules or not. These include, but not limited to, abuse, torture, neglect, poverty, colonisation, racism, un-supported autism/dyslexia/ADD, gender distress, grief, generational poverty, bushfire, armed conflict, seeking asylum, eating disorders, cancer or other life-threatening physical condition, being Deaf in a hearing world, substance use and/or family separation. You will not enter into any discourse challenging the medical model of mental illness.
At some point in your hospital stay, you will come to realise you are bored out of your brain. The hospital takes no responsibility for this. We suggest you find ways to counter the brain’s natural urge to be stimulated as a way to keep synapses firing and reduce the loss of brain cells. Whilst we understand the brain’s processes to manifest mental illness, we cannot be responsible for your human desire for music, intellectual pursuits, art, creative expression, connection and meaning. You must accept that while on our grounds you have surrendered the right to entertain thinking about any other interests, hobbies, talents or academic experiences. This includes religious beliefs and spiritual faith. As you are a guest of this ward, you accept that any mention of such will be translated as symptoms of mental illness and be perceived as ‘psychosis’ and/or ‘delusion’. This is especially true if you have a strong faith in God. We recommend you keep this faith to yourself to not upset any ‘God’ or other religious figure on the ward at present, as well as reducing the misunderstanding of the staff who may deem your belief contrary to their own or that of a litigious-fearing public domain.
These rules are abiding and shall not be interfered or tampered with by anyone acting on behalf of a person while on these grounds, or having any history of being on these grounds.
The Adult Psychiatric Unit is bound by laws and regulations instated by the Highest Powers of The Governments of the Westernised World. No person reading this or associated to any person reading this can influence, question of affect the rules of this Charter. By reading this, you have given permission for us to store your ability to read small print on file for the rest of your life. This shall be diagnosed as ‘Paranoid Schizophrenia’.
We reserve the right to change these rules at any time, and without warning. But as they haven’t changed since 1980 we doubt that we will. But we will endeavour to generate media attention around our disgust at 20th century practices such as chemical and physical restraint. It doe not mean that we will meaningfully adjust these practices in real terms. If you find yourself in such a situation, we categorically decline any injuries whether physical, mental or spiritual, including cultural injury. We will erase all documentation of such events, therefore voiding and nulling your account.
Any similarity between this document and that of the artist is purely coincidental. We believe the artist is making this stuff up, and her claim that ‘it’s all true’ are categorically denied. The hospital doesn’t exist, the year doesn’t exist, the town doesn’t exist, the planet Earth is a figment of their imagination and in fact, we believe the manifestation known as the ‘universe’ is a psychotic delusion, a fantastic symptom of their extreme mental illness. The artist is currently AWOL and should be approached with caution. Do not attempt to feed after midnight or immerse in water.
Signed on behalf © Heidi Everett, artist.
